XXXmas

So I awoke this morning in a very interesting fashion:

(sound of multiple sets of galloping paws in the hallway)

(voice) FIONA!!!!

A hiss, a bark, cat on my head, a sharp pain across my ear.
OW! Blood runs down my head.

I stumble, slightly dazed into the bathroom, my ear is bleeding. A lot.

Just moments before, it seemed. I was sleeping and cuddling with Lint, my favorite cat. Now I was in pain and confused. Great Christmas.

Then I got a ukulele and a messenger bag. Sweeter Christmas. There's a German here too. That's always fun.

Dokeosphere part II

Suddenly, a voice that sounded as if it was constructed purely of static, like a box of vibrating pins and needles found its way over the radio. At first, the astronaut ignored this voice, thinking it only one of the ten radio checks he'd receive that day. But when it persisted, he began to notice an unfamiliar quality not present in his standard calls from earth: desperation. The Pins and needles voice on the other end was asking for help, crying out to anyone who would listen. The astronaut listened in with voyeuristic curiosity so common among humans. He desired to reach over and press the button in order to respond to the distress call, but something inside of him caused him to hesitate. It was his sense of duty creeping up on him, mentally reprimanding him for being so distracted by such an inconsequential happenstance. So he forced himself away from the help, and back to his makeshift laboratory in a side room on the upper deck. The only sound there was the clinking of test tubes against one another, and the gentle hum of the engines filtered out any excess noise that could possibly distract him.

Dokeosphere part I

Behold the astronaut, who's forced to leave the earth staring out the porthole at the beauty below while knowing that no matter how diligently he works, nothing will bring him back before he's due to return.

So to fill the time, he busies himself with experiments, goes through motions and tests alternatives that are ultimately meaningless. To him, he knows his time is being wasted but the voice that crackles over his radio insists that it's all important, that he has no choice but to remain apart from the things that until now made sure he stayed firmly on the ground. Sometimes the antenna picks up a songs from the radio, and the cabin is filled with the woeful sounds of an old standard, and the astronaut reminisces on the last time he heard this song, long ago.

Suddenly his mind conjures up that time when the song meant the most to him, back to when night only lasted so long, and young bodies huddled together in twin sized beds to warm chilly sheets. And how they'd cram as much excitement into those fleeting nighttime hours! When intimacy was as foreign as the deepest unexplored regions of space, when everyone played Ferdinand Magellan on an insatiable quest to understand their immediate world. And as the sun began to rise, how they'd all pretend that they didn't notice, how they'd push on until their limbs grew weary and their mouths were parched from innumerable heavy breaths. Oh, and how they'd collapse, never to rise before the sun reached its daily apex in the sky above!

And now, how' he'd kill for just ten minutes of true daylight.

Untitled self reflection

I am a waste, an addict
I am a genius.
I know nothing.
It is my acknowledgment of knowing nothing that makes me a genius.

I want to know everything.
The more I learn, the more I know
I know nothing.
I am curious.

After I eat, my body excretes what it doesn't want.
It makes the room smell.
God is laughing at his intelligent design.

I know a girl who is now chasing monkeys
We kissed once, in another country
I had just kissed her friend
She knew that, but kissed me anyway.
Then, we took all of our clothes off.

It seems that country of origin shapes bodies
I've seen anatomical Czech: awkward, strong, feminine, beautiful
anatomical Slovak: small, cautious, fallow, fleeting
anatomical Pole: bright-eyed, intelligent, mysterious, self-conscious
anatomical Finn: brazen, taut, risky
anatomical Norwegian: powerful, pale, emancipated, nordic
anatomical Romanian: shy, silent, momentous, hidden beauty
anatomical French: sensuous, breathy, slender, entwining
anatomical Irish: ironic, creamy, clumsy, guilty,
anatomical Italian: loud, laughing, tall, intimate
anatomical German: stiff, orderly, regulated, desperate
anatomical Philippine: dark, scented, sudden, decadent
anatomical Colombian: intense, amazonian, feral, exhausting

Deerhoof's Offend Maggie has two different track listings?

So being a rabid Deerhoof fan, I could not wait to get my hands on their fabulous latest release Offend Maggie, even if it meant that I would have to obtain it via *cough* potentially illegal means (sorry guys). The track listing was as follows:

01 The Tears and Music of Love
02 Chandelier Searchlight
03 Buck and Judy
04 Snoopy Waves
05 Offend Maggie
06 Basket Ball Get Your Groove Back
07 Don't Get Born
08 My Purple Past
09 Family of Others
10 Fresh Born
11 Eaguru Guru
12 This is God Speaking
13 Numina
14 Jagged Fruit

This is most likely the order than most of you are familiar with (the CD's track listing), and all things being said, it is quite a fantastic order indeed.

Once Deerhoof made their way through town two weeks later, and being the devoted fan that I am, I bought the LP at the show (my intent all along), and took it home to listen. As soon as I set the needle on the LP, however, I realized that the album was not opening with The Tears And Music of Love, as I had expected, but with Offend Maggie. Not even track 2 was the same, as I was hearing Fresh Born where I expected to be hearing Chandelier Searchlight. In fact, not a single track is in the same place on the LP as it is on the CD. The track order of the LP (and how it was listed on back) is as follows:

Side A (Act 1):

1. Offend Maggie
2. Fresh Born
3. Chandelier Searchlight
4. The Tears And Music Of Love
5. Buck And Judy
6. Don't Get Born
7. My Purple Past

Side B (Act 2):


8. Basket Ball Get Your Groove Back
9. Numina O
10. This Is God Speaking
11. Eaguru Guru
12. Snoppy Waves
13. Jagged Fruit
14. Family Of Others

WHAT?! In addition, the CD does not list the tracks as being in two Acts, whereas the LP does. This order is also quite fantastic, to the point where I'm not sure as to which I prefer.

As as result of this confusing situation, I went to the place where most people go when they need to know something as random and obscure as this: the internet. Sadly, my search revealed absolutely no explaination as to why each format had a different track listing. The only thing I found was a myspace comment on their page asking the same question I was. Beyond that, nothing. Also, most sites selling the LP have the CD tracklisting posted as the LP track order, including the record label's website, which obviously is not correct. Up until this point I have attempted to contact both the band and the label about the reasoning behind this, but with no reply.

So what's the deal, Deerhoof?

Polyphemus Creeper

So I started a new song last night. Click it to listen.


Hello you, it's me
The one who couldn't seem to want to leave you all alone
Somewhere in there I tied myself a lasso
And roped you in so blindly like a Cyclops with a cataract,
And you were just Ulysses heading home.

I could blame the wine
Or think of some excuse to blame no one for the deed
I can't believe I held another hostage unconsciously
but often monsters are just misunderstood
Exaggerated by the troubadours.

Instrument/Equipment List for Jeannette Isabella

So a few people have asked me specifically what I used to record "Bring a Torch Jeannette Isabella", so I figured I'd make a post so that I could also have the ability to remember in the future, like when I tell my grandkids.

Hardware:
Powerbook G4 1.33Ghz, 1 GB RAM Running OSX 10.5.5 (leopard)
Mackie 1202 vlz pro mixer
PreSonus Firebox

Software: Cubase LE4 (the version that comes with the interface)

Mics:
Some $100 Audio Technica Condenser I borrowed from a friend (mine's crap). This mic is worth more than you pay for it.

Instruments:
Baritone Ukulele
Banjo
Guitar
Toy Piano
Casio Pt-1
A big plastic storage drum I hit when I need a bass drum sound
Jingle Bells
Egg Shaker

Additional: Roommates who put up with me making a racket in the basement (thanks guys)

You really don't need expensive or fancy equipment to make good sounding recordings, contrary to what many believe. Especially when you're intentionally recording silly sounding christmas songs.

Finished a new song..not for the EP

So I have to finish this Christmas CD before I play this concert on Sunday, and one of the requirements was that I record a cover of "Bring A Torch, Jeannette Isabella" because it's probably the best Christmas song of all time, but we can discuss that later. So I spent about three hours on this today, and I'm pretty pleased with the results. It's just as cheezy as I wanted it to be, and the recording sounds great.

Basically if this recording were a test I'd want my mom to hang it on the fridge.

Oh, I put it on my myspace. Listen please, tell me what you think.

My new EP: It will be free. Please share it.

So the first EP I'm recording as Norwegian Arms is mostly done, and by that I mean a little bit above fifty percent complete. I'm excited for it.

I did finish the insert to be placed inside, it's black and white and pretty boring. It'll be photocopied. Here's a picture:
Pretty amazing, huh? As you can see, it'll be four tracks and features the use of languages I don't actually speak. I'll be putting them up on myspace as they reach completion.

Oh, I also forgot to mention. This CD will be free, absolutely free. So when you get one, make four hundred copies for your friends, upload it to your favorite torrent tracker, add it to your shared files on LimeWire, SoulSeek, AIM, or whatever you use to otherwise illegally transfer music. Heck, put it on a jump drive and upload it to your local public school server. I will also host it on my website for a short time (before temple kicks me out for using too much bandwidth).

Why am I doing this? Because I firmly believe music it moving in the direction where it will be mostly or completely free. The only ones who grossly benefitted from CD sales were the labels, not the artists. That's why Virgin was suing people instead of The Backstreet Boys breaking down your door. I'm also doing it because I really don't expect to make money from any of this anyway, so why prevent people from listening to/having/sharing my music at all? I have jobs, a few dollars isn't going to make a huge difference.

That's all for now. Happy day.